On January 30, 2008,

1. A friend’s mother passed away. As usual, I didn’t know what to do. So I did nothing. Which is a good thing because she did not want anything done and probably not from me.

2. A friend needed money, urgently. As usual, I could do nothing to help.

3. I went against my instinct of taking the stairs and got stuck in a pitch-dark lift packed with 6 people. I am painfully claustrophobic.

4. My mother tells me Switzerland is very far away to migrate to, but never mind she would not mind even if I married some Swiss man. Right. Number 1- there is no connection between what I just told you and what you just said. Number 2, stop there, ma. I am NOT moving to Switzerland to get married to anybody, much less a Swiss man, or any man. No, not now, not tomorrow, no matter what, and you know exactly why so please for God’s sake stop pretending I never told you.

She said okay very humbly. Then I love you, then hung up. Wow. I love you, ma.

5. I took yet another brainless quiz on Facebook – Who is your ideal mate? My result? I am my ideal mate. Now I understand why I am single again. Evidently I was with the wrong person.

Strange, strange day. Not all bad. But strange nevertheless. I think to myself, ‘what could have made it better or different?’ And I realise the answer is, ‘if I could have something for someone.’

Helped them run an errand, or done them a favour, picked up their laundry, taken their dad to the doctor, given someone a lift, grinned at a grumpy old man who never expected a smile coming his way… Or, gotten that money for my dear friend somehow, told my mother how her one morning call makes my day and that I adored her beyond hope, hugged my beautiful brother, held the hand of a hurting friend hundreds of miles away… Something. Just to make this day less strange, and more human.

All one can really do in these moments is to wish for ‘more life into a time without boundaries.’

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One thought on “On January 30, 2008,

  1. (this is a random read .. )
    //if I could have something for someone.//
    Of course …yes !

    Life is a very broader scheme .. than we wish to think it is.

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