Between 11.1.18.9.19.8.13.1 1.18.25.1 and You

Today at 7:00pm you wrote:
i need for you to know that i tried everything i could… but i was hurting so much, too much, from too many times. i didn’t plan it. i never thought about actually doing it- leaving. but something just snapped inside me that night. something broke. i broke.

i crave your voice. i yearn for your words. i cry day and night but i can’t call you. not because i am too proud but because i am too scared of what i may get. or if i will be ignored. the rejection on top of everything else will just hurtle me off the edge again.

jaana, that night i needed you to say just one word. one word that could have saved me – STAY.

this time i will need YOU to look for me, to come find me- if at all. i just don’t posses the strength or courage. i meant every word said in love: i will love you for ever. however long that is.

Your message has been sent.

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