musings on a saturday night

22:02: Life in a Metro. A beautiful film to me because it left me while I still hadn’t had enough. It was over while I was still in the throes of experiencing all those wildly flailing feelings, fighting back tears and thinking how so much of what I’d seen mirrored by own life. Such a delicious rush. Like the taste of blood in your mouth.

I am never completeley satisfied with a happy ending and it ended too soon.

22:22: thought I would do dinner with a friend but she had other plans. Strangely, I felt a sadness descend. The words came like a blow to my ear- So you’re alone again on Saturday night.

I love so many things about my beautiful life but sometimes those very things make me want to curl up and die.

23:17: The more I realise how fragile our world makes love, the more I feel the need to be stronger. Just in case I am alone. Just in case there is no one there at the end with me, when it all really matters. Just in case I can’t do it anymore. I need to be strong enough to be enough for me.

 

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