You don’t need more jeans. What you need is more poetry.
Annoying Levi’s ad on TV these days. Seen it? Never mind if you haven’t; you’re not missing much. Why am I writing a post about it? Because I find it interesting how retailers are using poetry to sell clothes.
The commercial in question is from Levi’s new campaign – Go Forth. The poem in question is Charles Bukowski’s The Laughing Heart, one of his more optimistic pieces, written in a gentler hand than the standard misanthropic deliveries he is known (and I will say loved) for.
Let’s face it, Charles Bukowski was a dirty old man, but he was everyone’s favorite bastard. Swilling whiskey with one hand, and feeling up a topless starlet with the other, was his idea of a portrait. And Levi’s has chosen his words as the new anthem for today’s denim wearing generation. Frankly, I don’t blame them. It was a great fucking idea.
The poem, is astounding. It simply is a work of staggering beauty and tenderness.
But Levi’s is little more than an industrial workwear brand turned urban fashion weathervane. ”Here’s what jeans need to be doing now,” Levi’s seems to say, “This is what you need to own to be cool now; a pair of jeans that tells the world you buy into Bukowski’s beautiful philosophy of hope for the youth, and their future.”
And if you already own 150 pairs, here is a beautifully shot commercial featuring the gut-twisting words of an American poetic iconoclast, to convince you to walk into their stores and buy another.
Don’t fall for it. Listen to me: You don’t need more jeans. What you need is more poetry.
- The Laughing Heart -
by Charles Bukowski
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.
“I used to be nice. Then I got bored.” – Pseud Freud
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‘Comic Sans is for the humourless.’
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‘Arrigatto’ – Japanese for ‘In a while, crocodile.’
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It’s a bird! It’s a plane!
No buddy, actually it’s the flying fuck I do not give.
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CS Lewis once said that the Church existed for nothing but to draw men into Christ.
I am not sure if I am the only one who finds this slightly disturbing.
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Female colleague: ‘Men do nothing for me but I really don’t think I’m gay.’
Me: ‘Well, maybe you’re just… post-heterosexual’
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A dietician advised me today, that in order to lose weight I must avoid all white things.
That’s it then. No more dining with Caucasians.
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I can hear Akon playing somewhere. He sounds like he’s asking for food.
Akon. The voice that instinctively makes you put your hand out for alms.
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The keyboard instrumental version of ‘Voulez-vous’ is playing at the restaurant.
Now, all I need is to find a table to be caught dead under later.
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‘Muchos Gracias’ – Spanish for ‘what a graceful, lush handlebar you have.
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‘Wanderlust: the act of going around looking for sex.’ – Pseud Freud
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Now they say Facebook can cause asthma attacks.
Just like how Twitter causes syphilis because everyone’s fucking everyone over.
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In bed with a travel value pack of Gummi Bears. My standards have hit an all time low.
It used to be nothing less than Mini Milka Bars once.
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Quite possibly, every answer in the world today owes its existence to the fundamental question, ‘What the fuck?!’
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I’m tweeting like a fiend tonight. My head is buzzing & my fingers fly furiously across the QWERTY… WHY AM I NOT MASTURBATING?
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Facebook’s privacy clause is a lot like… well, Santa.
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Caesar lay stabbed on the floor bleeding to death when he saw Brutus standing before him, dressed in a beige toga.
Said Caesar, “Ecru, Brute?”
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I refuse to be hard on myself. The people in my life don’t need the competition.
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Chocolate is the new sex.
At least that’s how I justify the fridge in the bedroom.
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It is my theory that the usability of a public toilet is inversely proportionate to the fullness of your bladder.
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“Bisexual is the new straight. Twitter and TV dinners are the new single.” – Pseud Freud
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I’m an open book. That book is banned in 17 countries.
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To all the sane, sorted individuals who claim to have no self-esteem issues:
please join Facebook and shut the fuck up.
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My most effective pick up lines usually have something to do with the retrieval of dropped things. Yes, this is why I’m single.
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You can safely assume things aren’t working out when you say ‘sleep with me’ and they hear ‘sure, I love stand up comedy’.
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We must draw the line at this EMI lifestyle somewhere.
Three loo visits since 7 am has me believing that I am crapping in instalments.
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With so much pubic hair, it’s unfair to pay only for a Brazilian.
So I usually leave a tip the size of South America.
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I’m going to bed, because you know, we’ve discussed this and the bed will not come to me.
And anyway this mountains & Muhammad business is way overrated.
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We all know this Eid is to commemorate Abraham’s sacrifice of Ishmael.
But then I see today’s kids and all I can say is spare the goats.
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Prince Will and Kate will soon get down doing the hustle in an epic repeat of a 3-decade old fiasco.
All I’m waiting for is some old chick to show up and really get this party started.
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When IBM sends me mail to say I’ve won a £1 million Gmail considers it SPAM, but when the ex sends me hate mail it is escorted into my Priority Inbox. THANK YOU, GOOGLE.
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Well, I’m glad we can kick Australia’s ass on a cricket pitch.
Especially since we seem to be getting ours kicked by them off it.
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I can only only do one thing at a time.
Now is not a good time.
Later is not looking too good either.
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The building society has been on a cost cutting spree and we now have a one-eyed watchman.
Coincidence?
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‘I am strong. I am invincible. I am anti-perspirant.’ – Pseud Freud
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‘I’ve been thinking about it and I really don’t see why a ceiling fan cannot be referred to as a revolver.’
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Marriage sounds like a real walk in the park.
Jurassic Park.
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I look terrible this morning.
In fact, I haven’t looked so bad since… yesterday morning.
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Pseud Freud: ‘I told Facebook to go to hell and then realised I didn’t need the company.’
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I’d say I’m bored out of my tits, but that’s not really true because oh look - blimpy air pillows.
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So, who is it in SALT again?
Oh yes. Angelina Jolie’s cheekbones.
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In my case, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) has been revised to Monday Affective Disorder.
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Forgiveness has nothing to do with compassion and everything to do with how hot you are in bed.
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‘I dare. I have balls of steel wool.’ – Pseud Freud
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Marzipan is disgusting. It’s like the edible variant of marzipan.
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I tried having phone sex the other night.
Not only is it very painful but now my phone isn’t speaking to me either.
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Love Story is a crock of shit.
Had Erich Segal really been in love he’d know that all you’re ever doing is say you’re sorry.
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A man walks into a bar… and says, ‘Ouch.’
Then Lindsay Lohan walks into a bar and then goes on to spend 2 weeks behind a whole bunch of them.
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Someone said I reminded them of the comedian, Mr. Bean.
For one, that is not comedian but a legume. Two, it doesn’t even matter because they’re dead now.
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My phone hangs so often I am surprised it didn’t come with a piece of rope and a fucking ceiling fan.
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That’s it.
I’m going to bed now and just deal with this fucking insomnia in the morning.
Bowling for Kardashian
Kim Kardashian says she is in no hurry to get into a relationship.
Yeah well, relationships are in no hurry to get into Kim Kardashian either.
The Kardashians sisters are planning to write a book.
Next, Aishwarya Rai will be planning to act & Tiger Woods will plan on being monogamous.
‘I’m in my elephant tonight. Yeah, baby.’ – Pseud Freud
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I just love grannies. I love their panties even more.
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If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, and it’s not a boomerang, it’s a fucking miracle.
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When life throws you lemons, you make lemonade.
My life throws me melons.
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My ex says I’m so bad in bed I couldn’t even turn a computer on.
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An Indiot is a moron of Indian descent.
And yes, he is usually going down.
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When she said role-play, I told her I’d be a doughnut.
That’s roll-like, right? It’s round like a wheel. And it um, rolls.
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I spent a total of 6 hours on the phone tonight.
I suppose I am now sufficiently qualified to be a call girl.
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I’ve come fitted with a faulty battery for Mondays.
It’s called Neverready.
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‘I’d be myself if it weren’t so much trouble.’ – Pseud Freud
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Do not judge a book by its cover.
Unless it’s entitled Homeward Harlot or something, then I guess it’s okay.
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If it’s sleep you need I suggest lying down.
Hitting beds and sacks is unnecessarily violent and will only make them resentful.
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Prostitutes in the Navy! Serving the semen!
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I’d rather die than date a necrophiliac.
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I don’t know if God has a surname but I have a feeling it’s unlikely to be Damn.
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This month’s TIME has a feature on which dinosaur’s bite would hurt most.
Is this slightly obsolete or is it just me?
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There’s a bawling baby on my flight. This is not good.
Today, baby oil will be made in midair.
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I know why God makes people gay. He wants them to be happy.
‘Balls to sport.’ – Pseud Freud
#Mahut-Isner #Wimbledon
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Hour 6:
Spoiled for choice on TV tonight. One channel shows 22 men all chasing the same ball; another shows 2 men killing themselves over a fuzzy little green one.
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Hour 7:
It doesn’t matter who wins now, does it? Everyone is watching to see who dies first
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Hour 8:
Wimbledon today has been a fabulous display of the adage, ‘The show must go on!’
And on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on…
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Hour 9:
So they’ve been on it for 9 hours now… Wimbledon is grass, right? Not weed?
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Hour 10:
This is not a match. It’s a 2-man gang bang. The court is fucked. The umpire is fucked.
And spectators are wishing they were home fucking instead of being at this retarded game.
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The match continues tomorrow?!
Find the melancholic gummy bear who said ‘all good things come to an end’ and hang him by his scrotum.
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Enough tweeting on silly Wimbledon.
Too much time spent at the computer can give you tennis elbow.
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Pseud Freud’s Slip: If Duracell knew how this would have turned out, they’d have been EverReady to sponsor Wimbledon.
… To be continued. But of course.
And who the Fuckbook are you? #2
Some Random Indiot: 20 June at 03:39
Hi,
I don’t know whether V r connected or not but saw u on my search list..Ive been a member of this site for a little while and found your profile. You sound very smart and attractive. Its rare that i have came across hardly any profiles that was like yours and started to have the feeling that it was all a big joke until now, so I just had to send you a message. As I am looking for friends just thought of giving it a try. Never tried anything on this site. So am not sure whether I will be getting any response or not..Anyways let me see…. a bit about myself…I am a software professional working in Bangalore. I am care free kind of person, nothing can take away smile from my face. I try to squeeze in as much as I can into my day. I love being around people who make me roll on the floor laughing and who live each day to the fullest. Now its ur turn to speak about ourselves.. I hope to hear u soon..
Who the Fuckbook are you? #1
Me on Facebook: 22 June at 11:27
I accepted your friend request but I am not sure we know each other. Do we?
Some Random Person: 22 June at 18:35
Hi, Dear,
Sorry for that? How are you.It is just i have entered into facebook world.Curiously most of my friends have an account.they in a word forced me to engage in facebook. I am not too accoustomed with the procedure.just getting used to it.Sorry again na
Me: Bye bye, ducky.
‘I’m 35, arrogant and single. Twitter is my life.’ – Pseud Freud
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Sometimes, I just feel dyslexic. Like own.
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I tried committing. Suicide.
As you can see I failed at that too.
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Man discovered fire.
Woman called the fire department to put it out.
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Why do people always refer to the ‘weather outside’?
When was the last time you experienced a hailstorm in the kitchen?
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I am temporarily out of order.
Then again, when have I ever been IN order?
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I wonder why so many women complain about difficult periods.
.
There, that wasn’t so hard.
~
Mr. Tibbs of Bombay will soon be taking his highly successful fast food franchise to California.
It will be then known as Frankie Goes To Hollywood’.
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Seen on FB: ‘We are all here for a purpose. Else we would have been born as trees or animals’.
Well, trees & animals, I hope you are listening because you have been rendered purposeless as of NOW.
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Seen on perennially stupid FB: ‘We are all here for a purpose. Else we would have been born as trees or animals’.
Well, trees & animals, I hope you are listening because you have been rendered purposeless as of NOW.
“I am my own worst enema.” – Pseud Freud
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In Uganda, calling a woman ‘fat cow’ is considered a compliment.
Do not try this at home.
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Staying hungry is a bad idea. After a point everything looks good.
Later still, everything starts looking like food… Here kitty, kitty.
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When my eyes get droopy & my mouth drops open in an attractive, primal fashion, it is a sign I’m dozing.
Do not feed the Hippos.
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Food is a four-letter word. Like diet.
I feel like the English language has betrayed me.
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I can hear a baby here somewhere howling stupidly and I haven’t had breakfast.
These are not good omens.
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Ooh look, it’s 29 minutes past midnight.
Also known as eating Nutella straight out of the jar o’ clock.
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Sausages for dinner were not a good idea.
Several loo visits later I’m thinking, with franks like these who needs enemas?
‘Fuck me. I’m famous.’ – Pseud Freud
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Lady Gaga’s new video is out.
It is yet another traumatic day for television.
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Britney Spears wants to be frozen in death and brought back to life in the future.
If you have children, please, kill them now.
~
It seems everyone is avoiding poor Lindsay Lohan.
Even her latest piece of jewellery is a bracelet called SCRAM.
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In fact, LiLo’s temper tantrums are proving too much for her SCRAM bracelet.
It has now been renamed SCREAM.
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Justin Bieber’s newest release hits the stores tomorrow.
It’s called Here Comes Treble.
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Jodie Foster has been accused of battery. They say she needs AA.
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John Goodman’s tremendous weight loss has changed him.
Friends say he’s not half the man he used to be.
~
Kurt Cobain achieved Nirvana and then committed suicide.
There is no pleasing Americans.
~
“FCUK you, Deisel.”
Look, I know it sounds like I have a problem with dyslexics, but I don’t. I just have issues with people who can’t spell.
But the truth is, thanks to FCUK, dyslexics now think they’re the height of fashion cool. And if that wasn’t tedious enough, Diesel decided to join the dumbwagon with their Be Stupid campaign. This is the brand with the baseline that reads: ‘For Successful Living’. Then I think Paris Hilton and somehow, somewhere, it makes sense.
This is a conspiracy to evangelize and glorify idiocy. It’s a new fashion democracy for stupid people by stupid people. If Diesel is telling people to Be Stupid, FCUK must be telling them to Be Dyslexic. Soon to follow will be Miss Sixty – Be A Moron, Esprit – Be Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorderly and Ed Hardy – Be Ugly.
Given the choice, I’ll take brains over testicles, thanks.
Fashion advertising is getting more demented by the day, which is just as well seeing as skinny jeans are back. Be ware.
We All Like to Reblog (via WordPress.com News)
I found it necessary to repost this given an unpleasant incident last week. It was brought to my attention that *my content was being lifted and reproduced elsewhere, without credit, on another **blog.
Not only that, the person also had the temerity to alter the title and present it as his/ he own. I can’t quite describe the sense of disgust I felt when I saw my words on someone else’s page paraded as their own. This Milli-Vanillieseque attitude leaves you feeling revolted, violated and cheated. It’s disrespectful, tasteless and utterly beneath one’s dignity.
*The original post called, ‘Museing’: http://mentalexotica.wordpress.com/2010/05/09/museing/
**My content reblogged as ‘Clio’: http://kinkypuppy.wordpress.com/2010/05/16/clio/
I have contacted the blogger but s/he has not approved my comment, nor responded to it.
‘Everything is wrong with me.’ – Pseud Freud
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Then there was that time I misread the signboard and found myself in a Marital Arts class.
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The Huffington Post claims that women tweet 12% more than men.
This now takes a derogatory term like ‘bird’, to mean ‘internet-savvy female’.
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You call them User Testimonials. I call them old love letters.
Potato, potahto.
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Guess what George W. Bush did on Quit Facebook Day?
That’s right. He joined Facebook.
Next.
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Huggies has now come out with jean diapers. Yes, because babies, apparently give a shit.
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Everything is wrong with me.
In fact, the only right thing about me is all the stuff on the opposite of my left.
~
Back in the day, every day felt the first day of the rest of my life.
Now of course, every day feels like the first day of my period.
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And now we return to your regular scheduled pogrom.
“You mean ‘Fakebook’” – Pseud Freud
To all the sane, sorted individuals who have no self-esteem issues,
please join Facebook and then shut the fuck up.
~
I did the ‘Who Should You Date’ quiz and the bastards on Facebook told me I should ask myself out.
~
Seen on FB: ‘I’m wearing black today for ‘International Day Against Homophobia’.
Hasids and Amish, you might want to consider your wardrobes.
~
I just removed 43 group posts from my Facebook feed – accomplishment.
Now it looks like nothing has happened here since 1982 – WTF.
~
I just read a friend’s FB update about her recent ‘panicky attack’.
No. I really don’t know what to say.
~
I have just read an article on how it is possible to die of boredom.
This only confirms my suspicions that if my job doesn’t kill me, Facebook will.
~
Facebook has a billion people & Twitter is full of stalkers suffering short outbursts of verbal diarrhea.
I live in India & work in entertainment. My life is not much different offline.
~
‘I cannot help it. I am caustic at best.’ – Pseud Freud
~
He said: Hey, by any chance did you get a haircut?
I replied: Yes.
He went on: Yeah! Coz, it looks shorter now!
What I said: No shit, you genius. That IS indeed one of the side effects of a haircut. Who are you anyway, Vidal Sassoon?
What I should have said: Yes.
~
Pseud Freud has been a-musing
~
‘I don’t need boob jobs. They’re busy enough as it is.’
~
They told me ignorance is bliss but to tell you the truth,
I’m not feeling too happy with the outpouring of all this neglect.
~
The application form asked me to mention social networking sites,
so I put Facebook, Twitter, Orkut, MySpace, Hi5 etc.
~
I was thinking about Eyjafjallajokull.*
With a name like that, hell, I’d blow my lid too and need to let off steam too.
~
My lesbian friends are really big on the whole culinary experience.
They’re always going on about how often they eat out.
~
Latest amongst American teenagers is consuming vodka through their eyes.
That says something about being so drunk you forget where your mouth is.
~
Einstein said you either lived as though everything or nothing was a miracle.
This, from the guy who came up with the whole theory of relativity thing.
~
*To know more about how this volcano got it’s name, click here!
Pseud Freud’s Chick Chat
~
@s_purba: Sadness is hot. Sarcasm is hot. You are a cocktail.
@mentalexotica: I’ve never been referred to as a cocktail before. No wait, there was that one ex who went, ‘you have a fucking Molotov for a mouth’.
~
@s_purba: You *are* explosive
@mentalexotica: I can be, yes. Which is why I try to avoid beans and lentils wherever possible.
Pseud Freud’s Slip: Yes, this is why you’re single.
‘Keep your friends close. Keep your enemas closer.’ – Pseud Freud
~
Only on my Twitter timeline will you find Pablo Neruda quoted next to the lyrics of Funky Town.
This is like R.S.V.P.ing for an identity crisis.
~
I read that Courtney Love wants to hate-fuck John Mayer with her powerful vagina.
Well, I suppose vagina would be the technical term for that… receptacle.
~
Now trending on Twitter: #Bazbaz #Jaap #Insert Coin
When I say fuck the world & do your own thing it is because I obviously have NO clue what they are talking about.
~
I am tired of being ignored. However, having said that… will make no difference.
~
Cannibals are like lesbians, only more inclusive. They also eat their own.
~
“What do you mean ‘Hum Tum’ is not the practise of making melodious sounds with one’s stomach?”
~
Pseud Freud’s Slip: I try to keep myself busy with Twitter but this job thing is really messing up my concentration.
Pseud Freud is Bitter on Twitter
~
Santa Claus is now following me on Twitter.
If this has to do with the two front teeth, he’s a little behind schedule.
~
First Facebook. Then YouTube. Now Twitter.
How tedious. Can’t the internet just block Pakistan?
~
I just don’t follow the shit that’s trending on Twitter these days.
I don’t even know what a Justin Bieber is.
However, I am told I don’t want to find out.
~
@paulamalaiali: I’ve tweeted about you.
@mentalexotica: I’m so touched, I don’t know what to say. But, that will pass.
@paulamalaiali: A bit like wind.
~
Think celebrities are fascinating?
Follow them on Twitter and discover nothing but their travel itineraries!
Shmucks.
~
There are an estimated 80 million unwanted pregnancies each year.
I suspect it’s not your Tweets that need protecting, my lovelies.
~
RT @mentalexotica: Retweeting is pretty lame.
